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| Screw this. I'm done with you, Xanga.
Check me out here:
http://youcantstealthisusername.blogspot.com/
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| The time has come to order Mischief uniforms, and thus choose jersey numbers.
My first choice is always #1. Then I can say, "I'm number one! I'm
number one!" But Warren had to be a bastard and take it already. And
since he more or less runs the whole team, there's really, really
nothing I can do about it.
My second choice: #2. Also taken. By another boy. Stupid boys.
#0, #99....taken, taken. Bunchabitches. This team is too big.
So I go to the default...#37. "37!! My girlfriend sucked 37 dicks!" "In
a row?" "Hey try not to suck anymore dick on the way to the parking
lot!"
But yeah...that's taken too.
And then it dawned on me. I need a number with a great legacy....with
style, class, and a whole lot of wackiness. And shortness. Because I'm
kinda short.
Tim Tuttle...MIT ultimate legend, plus he's JJ's boss. He's wacky,
classy, and short. I am taking Tim Tuttle's #9. I'm not sure there's a
better method of friendly spite than the anti-retiring of his number.
Tuttle, I know you're sad about this. I can see it in the way you never looked me in the eye when I took these pictures...
  
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| The cat's new name is Chompers.
We're still gonna call him Kitty. Or Kitten. But now his name is Chompers.
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| Babe Ruth had really crappy running form.
Good thing he only hit home runs.
Good thing he was a pitcher.
But man....that guy ran like an 80-year-old. Maybe I've only seen his
home run trot on old timey movies, and not his actual sprint....but
it's just really, really poor form. Makes me cry a little on the inside.
Another thing that makes me cry on the inside....my inability to cook
real food. I kind of suck at life when it comes to food. Tonight for
dinner I had breadsticks and mac and cheese that the Residence Inn
cooked for me. And beer. I ate beer too. Last night for dinner I had
Ritz and Easy Cheese and beer. I call it The Perfect Storm.
Speaking of the Residence Inn, I am pretty much living here for the
next month (as well as the past month) for work. It would be fine
except I'm bored as hell and drinking alone.
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| So Roshan is hosting a prom....a high school prom....for all us 20-somethings.
I thought it would be fun to try and find a date for said prom on
Craig's List. Now, I'm not actually looking for a date (JJ is the best
date ever). But you know, maybe one of my friends will be dateless, so
I should be able to help her out. Here is my original post:
I need a date for the prom. - 24
Date: 2006-04-22, 9:06AM PDT
It's true. I'm 24. I need a date for the prom.
The theme is Mardi Gras.
Me: Awesome. Can kick your ass at a Skittles-eating contest.
You: Normal. And awesome. And hilarious. And can help arrange child care.
The punch will be spiked. The afterparty will be rockin. We will even have an old guy chaperone. I just need a date.
I have already gotten like 20 responses. Here are some highlights:
Aaron:
I am 24 also and can give you a great run for
your money at that Skittles-eating contest! (7 years as a camp counselor)
;-p. I live in/around Berkeley. Sound
interested?
----- This
guy was a camp counselor for 7 years??? He clearly wants to go to prom
with me so he can leech onto some unsuspecting high school freshman
girl.
Moe Scyzlak:
Let's go
----- I like it. Short, to the point, no messin around. Plus, obviously a Simpson's fan. Those are hard to come by.
Tim K.:
I bet you can't out Skittle me! No swallowing them whole.
----- That's a challenge if I ever heard one. But I hadn't even
considered swallowing them whole, which makes me think he's probably
experienced in the swallowing, and he's probably a cheater. Thumbs down
on the cheaters.
Rick B.:
I could kill two birds with one
stone. Both the "Date" and the "Old-Guy" Cahperone. 45 year old white
guy with all my hair and teeth. 6'4" 205 out going and can dance.
Good sense of humor and don't like sitting home with the 40-year old
ladies that want to sit home and watch "Dr. Phil." Uncle Rico.
Afsan C.:
I need a date too I'm so horny are you?
----- This came with the requisite penis picture. Thanks, dude. Loved it.
Cris M.:
tell me this is some rediculious theme party and im so in...
but im pretty broke right now so you would have to do two things;
1. help me find an old powder blue tux with rediculious ruffled shirt.
2. pay for it :)
i promise i would be the most fun person to take, and you are pretty
much gaurenteed a good time.
and now for information on me, im just gonna do the lamest thing
possible, and forward you to my myspace page...
LAME, yeah i know. sorry, but im pretty lazy fealing right now and
with myspace you also get to see what all my friends think of me :)
~cris
----- If he had actually forwarded me to his myspace page, I'd probably
give him a second thought. But I'm really not willing to spend money on
a strange Craig's List person. He's cut.
Rob M:
Hi
Would love to go to Prom again! I
was checking out your posting after just finishing putting one up
myself. The list on my postng is of stuff that I belive are important
in a
relationship. Don't get me wrong, I'm not looking to jump into right away.
I'm looking to meet new people and make new freinds. but if something more
evolves then I'm all for it, if not at least maybe we can each say we made a
new freind. So I hope my posting below will give you a better idea of what
type of guy I am.
1. I Know how to make you smile when you are down.
2. Will secretly smell your hair, even though you always notice anyway.
3. Stick up for you but still respect your independence.
4. Give you the remote control (this is a tough one)
5. Come up behind you, put my arms around you, squeeze you Tightly against
my chest, and whisper softly into your ear.
6. Play with your hair.
7. Have my hands always find yours.
8. Be cute when I really want something.
9. Offer you plenty of massages.
10. Dance with you even if I feel like a big dork.
11. Never run out of love.
12. Try to be funny, but know when to be serious.
13. Be patient when you take forever to get ready.
14. Smile a lot.
15. Plan a romantic date full of cheesy things I wouldn't normally do just
because I know it means a lot to you.
16. Appreciate you.
17. Help out others just for the sake of helping out others
18. Would drive 3 hours just to see you for 1.
19. Always give you a kiss on the cheek when we depart from each other's
company- even when friends are watching.
20. Would sing to you even if I can't, but that's up to you, your ears not
mine.
21. Have a creative sense of humor.
22. Would stare at you just to admire you.
23. Would call you for no reason.
24. Would quit smoking, chewing tobacco, drinking, or doing drugs just
because you asked me to (I don't do any of the latter except for social
drinking)
So if you are looking for a freind/ guy that considers himself a pretty
normal guy with his head on staright, send me a quick note and a pic.You
never know when chemistry can strike. I do have a pic and can send you if
interested when you send yours.
Looking forward to hearing from you.
-Robert
BTW: try sending me an instant meassage. (***screenname omitted so you crazy bitches don't stalk him***)
----- Poor guy. I think he read YM magazine to pull that list out of his ass. I hope it gets him laid.
Great Guy:
What prom are you going to at 24??? I am very curious?? Arrange child care for??? Would that be regular Skittles or that new tropical crap?? I do no like the tropical kind!!! You have a confusing post?!?!?!
----- Seriously. His name for his return address is "Great Guy." wtf?!?!?!
Brian F:
where's the dance floor?! let's get this party
started!
haha.
hi, I'm brian, and i'm 21.
I also LOVE to dance. And no, i don't need alcohol in
my system to let loose.
In addition to my love for dancing, I cherish humor. I
believe all relationships (intimate or not) need some
type of humor, so I personally exercise wit and
sacrasm 24/7 (or however many hours i'm awake).
I also am very physically active. I run around 6-8
miles and workout reguarly.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm freaking
rad, and you should pick me. (jk, sort of.)
well, I hope to hear back from you.
Take care.
- Brian
p.s. - tell me more about yourself, besides the fact
hat you're awesome. do you have a picture? myspacE?
----- This guy is number one so far. He sent a head shot and it passed
the test. I may respond to him just to see if he wants to be my friend,
cause I think he's probably pretty cool. And then maybe I can get him a
date with one of my chick friends so he doesn't have to troll around
craig's list anymore.
SF Kid:
sounds great. are you going there with your sister or something?
----- He's onto me. And I think it's pretty clear that he'd like to be onto my sister as well.
Max Q.:
I am
alone here and look for some lady spending time together, particularly
after one busy week. I am friendly and enjoying talking. By the way,
I am an Asian man. Would you like getting back to me? THX M
----- This guy sounds adorable, in that cute old Chinese guy kind of
way. He's still working on the basic English grammar, but he's already
got the internet slang down with the "THX."
Frank C.:
I'm intrigued. Tell me more about this "prom."
And fuck you, I'm Skittles King.
----- Awesome. Just....awesome. How does he already know how much I love swearing? This guy rules.
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